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I was raised with strict "gender roles" growing up but I have a career as well and I work longer hours than him so I don't understand. Heck, cleaning houses is better than sitting around watching money disappear. Shouldn't that have been a clue it was time to take out the trash?? How is that your feelings have not be expressed before this moment. If you can't find a job, volunteer somewhere.
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He won't even pour the milk out of a cereal bowl so that it's easier for me to clean when I get around to washing it. Of course that would require that he put his dishes in the sink in the first place.
I do the laundry and put his clothes away because he won't even take them out of the bag.
He can't even do that! Today the garbage can was full so he put his empty icecream container on the counter next to the garbage can. Resolve has counslors who can help you e them in your area. Some people don't do this at all.
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I think you need to go and talk to a professional before you say anything to your wife.