Feeling close to a loved one and sharing s of physical affection is more important than having regular sex for older couples, a new survey has found. The majority still believe intimacy is important, but more than 56 per cent of people aged over 50 said having regular sex with their partner was not as vital as other parts of the relationship. The study found that 59 per cent of those aged between 50 and 55 said sex had become less important — a figure which rose to a huge 85 per cent of people aged 76 to The survey revealed majority of women said sexual intimacy was less of an issue, with 64 per cent claiming it was not as important in a relationship — but only 53 per cent of men agreed. Instead they rated other parts of their relationships, such as enjoying a cuddle, or a tender kiss, as more important. By doing this, older people can enjoy a full and fabulous sex life, right through their lives.
But cuddling doesn't and shouldn't stop when sex is over. So if you're like most people, it just feels nice to cuddle. Her argument is that the emotional connection which occurs while cuddling is the antithesis to erotic passion: It makes us feel too close and too familiar to our partner and so, is unlikely to bring about lustful feelings.
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Back Today. That is, how likely is it that cuddling would lead to having sex? This makes sense based on what we know about women's sexual desire often being responsive in nature and needing time to build.
His belief is that the connection and closeness that comes from cuddling is the fuel that le to better and more satisfying sex. John Gottman, another leader in the relationship and sex research community, suggests that not only is cuddling a good thing to do for your relationship, but, based on his 40 years of researching couples' intimate lives, he made a list of 13 things that couples with great sex lives do—and cuddling is 7 on that list!
Cuddling more important to men in long-term relationships
Do I Need Help? Men sometimes said things like "all she has to do is touch me," and they notice they had an urge to have sex.
They said that touching their female partner in what began in a nonsexual way fueled their desire to take things to the next level. It should, because the touch and skin-to-skin contact we get while cuddling releases oxytocin —the feel-good "love" hormone. We've been talking about cuddling before sex. Posted August 28, Reviewed by Matt Huston. Family Life Child Development Parenting.
Just lying in each other's arms. But there is a path through this conundrum. Never want to miss a post? Maybe you're watching a movie or the fire crackling. In fact, she describes advising couples that want to increase their sexual passion to refrain from cuddling.
Sarah Hunter Murray, Ph. The pursuit of calm can itself become a major stressor, especially if you've already tried the standard prescriptions. This point cannot be stressed enough: Even if you find that cuddling can increase your interest in having sex, it's crucially important to balance your sexual touch with nonsexual touch. If cuddling le to sex, that's great, but make sure that there are plenty of times you cuddle with your partner in which nonsexual touch is the final destination.
Sarah Hunter Murray Ph. Myths of Desire. Is the cuddling a final destination? Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness. Back Psychology Today. I was just trying to hold your hand!
May The High Cost of Calm The pursuit of calm can itself become a major stressor, especially if you've already tried the standard prescriptions. Most didn't necessarily describe using cuddling as a way to get themselves in the mood, although I'm sure some do; instead, these men indicated that, while cuddling, they noticed that their sexual urges often spontaneously showed up.
But what happens next? Over the course of my own academic research and clinical experience, I have interviewed numerous men and women about their sexual desires—and cuddling often comes up, but sometimes for different reasons. And it's important that romantic partners make time in their relationships to "just" hug, "just" kiss, and "just" cuddle. However, some researchers draw different conclusions. In other words, they try to nip what they perceive as sexual initiation in the bud.
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Although this pattern was stronger for women, it was also reported among men. View Help Index. Essential Re. For example, some heterosexual women I interviewed indicated that they preferred to cuddle before sex instead of having their male partner initiate "out of the blue.
Amy Muise and her colleagues conducted research on the sexual behavior of over participants in relationships over the course of two studies, including post-sex activities such as cuddling and kissing. Back Get Help. In fact, as a therapist, I routinely see couples that feel sexually disconnected talk about how they don't even hug anymore, because they feel it's going to give the wrong impression.
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You're holding hands. In that sense, cuddling may function as a transitioning activity from a nonsexual scenario to a potentially sexual one.
Well, if all those feel-good, connection-building activities frequently or always lead to sex, and one partner doesn't feel like having sex, they might say no to those other activities to avoid giving the wrong message. Among the women I've spoken with, cuddling is often described as something that helps to promote higher sexual desire. Follow me on Twitter SexDoctorSarah or visit my website. Or a buildup to something more intimate?
Imagine that you're cozying up with your romantic partner on the couch. Back Find a Therapist.
In fact, it's beneficial for your sex life if you cuddle afterward. And it hurts both members of the couple.
In her groundbreaking book Mating in CaptivityEsther Perel suggests that cuddling can get in the way of erotic passion. The person not wanting to have sex loses out on the opportunity to be held which maybe they did wantand their partner gets dismissed—usually in a confusing way: "What gives? In other words, cuddling, caressing, kissing, and hugging are all important on their own. Cuddle freely and cuddle often, before and after sex. The research team found that the longer the amount of time that couples practiced post-sexual affection, the greater their sexual and relationship satisfaction.