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Message me. Parents and Children Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.

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My first psychiatrist said I was paranoid, but I want a second opinion because I think he's out to get me. So don't worry; you'll do fine.

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It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. They happen because each individual makes a wrong move, and all the wrong moves put together create panic. Don't be shy! I requested fake. It's fake. The Progress of Civilization and the Civilization of Progress. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. First of all, forget about reason.

And we never got it. I'm a tad paranoid, I think the person in front of me is following me the long way around. James Baldwin.

He has to find an enemy, a plotter, or it will be, God forbid, his fault. Peanuts, by Charles M. Principles Out of Season. Infancyn.

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Back in the twentieth century, we referred to it as the Tahiti Syndrome. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you. Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum Kinky Friedman.

There are many who are uncomfortable with what we have created. Excessive label-reading could be harmful to your peace of mind. Just living. All a newborn baby really needs is food, warmth, and love, pretty much like a hamster, only with fewer s of intelligence. The first and direst of all disasters.

Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Elwood P. Parents are not interested in justice, they are interested in quiet. Take stock-market crashes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. You can't reason with a one-year old. Man stagnates if he has no ambition, no desire to be more than he is.

People are giving birth underwater now. Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. I guess it probably would be less traumatic for the baby, but certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool. The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies about us. Tom Wilson. William S. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. Maybe we weren't meant for Paradise. Elayne Boosler. Rodney Dangerfield.

I tried to Paranoids Anonymous, but no one would tell me where they were meeting. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth — two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. Uncomplicated, no problems, no command decisions. That is why she has constructed babies so that even the most profoundly incompetent person, even a person who takes astrology seriously and writes angry, semiliterate letters to the television station when it changes the time at which it broadcasts "Family Feud," can raise babies successfully.

Rita Rudner. It is almost a biological rebellion — a profound revulsion against the planned communities, the programming, the sterilized, artfully balanced atmospheres. He said I was being ridiculous — everyone hasn't met me yet. Paradise Lost and Found. Bill Cosby. Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary Childhoodn.

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Erma Bombeck. I mean, what do the two of you know about being responsible for a human life? The two of you can't even consistently locate clean underwear, for God's sake! Stephen King based an entire novel on this concept. My husband gave me a necklace. Promises, Promises. In fact, reasoning with children of any age has been greatly overrated. I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. Pseudoscience and the Paranormal.

Just so peaceful. It's particularly common to overpressured leader types, like starship captains. There is no documented case of any child being successfully reasoned with before the second year of graduate school. I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them. It is difficult to predict exactly what the doctor's bill for your pregnancy will be, because every situation is different. Some day, when your child has grown into a teenager and gotten drunk and crashed your new car into the lobby of the home for the aged during the annual Christmas party, you'll look back on the hamster era and laugh about how worried you were.

If you see in your wine the reflection of a person not in your range of vision, don't drink it. Proverbs and Maxims. They hunger for an Eden, where Spring comes. Mother Nature understands this. Parents and Children.

Chinese Proverb. Susan Sontag. Makes you want to hop right on a plane for the Azores, doesn't it? Then whoever lacks steady nerves asks himself: Who's behind this plot, who's benefiting? Maybe we were meant to fight our way through, struggle, claw our way up; scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can't stroll to the music of the lute; we must march to the sound of drums. Then it comes out into water. Dennis Miller.

Bill Murray. Just lucky, I guess. The hospital stay is a good time for you, as new parents, to share some quiet moments together listening to the woman on the other side of the curtain discuss her bowel movements with her mother via telephone. Lastly, she [Alice's sister] pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her other little children, and make their eyes bright and eager with many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows, and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life, and the happy summer days.

This is also a time for you to marvel at your baby's incredibly small feet and hands and to reflect on the fact that this is a real human life, a life that you have created, just the two of you; a tiny, helpless life that you are completely responsible for. This is why so many birthday parties feature rental clowns, even though few things are more terrifying to small children than a clown at close range. Birthn. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on.

A much simpler view can be entertained with more common sense, and as a CIA employee you must be aware that, like all intelligence agencies, it lacks the faculty of common sense. After all you're paying for it.